The Stranger

Loser Behavior, tbh

Anonymous — Wed, 18 Feb 2026 16:52:00 -0800

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The coffee shop was busy and full, and you were sitting on the couch while your friend was sitting at the armchair. There was room on the couch and another unoccupied armchair next to your friend. Both of you were on your phones. My husband and I asked if we could sit in the empty spaces. You looked at us and then went back to your phone. We sat down for a minute, but then a bench freed up nearby and we moved there.

Five minutes later, your friends showed up and you started talking about us because we just sat down randomly. Dude, if you didn't want us to sit next to you, you could have said you were waiting on people. Saying nothing and then shit-talking about us is sad and lame.

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Backpack Beware

Anonymous — Wed, 11 Feb 2026 11:25:00 -0800

Signed, a former New Yorker, just trying to get home. by Anonymous

Seattle, I know you are relatively new to the public transit game, but I am BEGGING YOU to learn some basics about rush hour travel. You're relatively okay at standing to the right so people can walk by on the left on escalators, but for god's sakes, TAKE OFF YOUR BACKPACKS ON THE TRAIN!!

Picture this: It's 5 p.m., you're leaving the office. The train is packed full of tired, overworked, and underpaid people. You manage to squeeze on, only to get whacked by someone's backpack, while they are oblivious to the fact that by turning, they've turned their backpack into a weapon. You shift to the right, BAM! another backpack. You're being crushed in the doorway because you have nowhere to go. You look to the right, down the aisle, and see it looks relatively empty because everyone has their backpacks on! Each person takes up the space of two people: one space for their body and one space for their backpack.

Come on, y'all. We all want to get home. Take your backpacks off so we can fit more people on the train and not get clotheslined by a rogue backpack.

Signed,

A former New Yorker, just trying to get home

What the Puck?!

Anonymous — Wed, 04 Feb 2026 13:00:00 -0800

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Between the Torrent and Heated Rivalry, Seattle hockey fans are starting to see a heap of new faces at local games. I love to see it! Hockey is the best! Welcome! But I have two requests: 1) Please stay in your seat when the puck is in play, and 2) please stop asking the players to kiss.

I’m not mad. There’s no way you’d know if you’ve never been to a hockey game. But in hockey, it’s customary to wait until the whistle blows before getting up or returning to your seat. Usually, there is an usher at the top of each row to remind fans to wait, but because Climate Pledge doesn’t seem to staff the Torrent games as heavily as they do the Kraken games (AND WHY NOT???), there are not enough staffers to teach newbies the rules. So we have to hold ourselves accountable.

I say this with love. The puck is hard, frozen, and fast. It does occasionally end up flying into the stands, and if you’re the jack-ass blocking the view, you might get hurt or cause someone else to get hurt. So once you get your beer or garlic fries or Piroshky Piroshky (yes, they have Piroshky Piroshky at the games!), wait at the top of the stairs until the game is stopped. Please. Thank you.

As for the kissing thing, I get it. Heated Rivalry is pretty good (needs more hockey, but whatever), and it’s great that it appears to have helped grow both the game and the communities within the sport for LGBTQ players and fans. But the players we're watching? They're professionals. They're adults. And yes, in the PWHL, some of them are married! And there are likely gay players in the NHL, too! But they will kiss if they want to kiss. Not because you discovered your hockey kink. (Those lil’ shorty hockey pants with no shirt is a hot look, right?)

I, Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 28 Jan 2026 13:20:00 -0800

Double thank you to folks who tip well. by Anonymous

I've been delivering food on a bike for over a year and a half. After being assaulted by some chud in Belltown today, I need to get some shit off my chest that isn't just that guy's hand.

Y'all motherfuckers who complain about the music I crank must've forgotten what city you're in. Fuck off to the suburbs, NIMBY scum.

Dumbfucks occupying the bike lanes when the sidewalk is literally just a few feet to the side, you're one of the main reasons I crank loud music, and even that's not enough to overpower your earbuds, you fucking bollards. Double fuck you to you brainlets who park your cars in the bike lanes, which is illegal, BTW. Y'all create the danger you then blame us for, just like a good Republican.

Clones who jokingly or sincerely try to trick me into giving you someone else's order, you're just fucking boring and unoriginal.

To the white men (yes, it's always white men) who actually get hostile and try to pick fights with me while I'm on the clock, like the one who did today, you call me things like a loser and a bitch, and yet you are only projecting the reality about yourself. Funny how you run away when one of the locals comes to defend me, since doing so myself would cost my job. You have to be a real massive piece of shit to pick a fight with someone doing their job. Oh, and blaming me for your violence is textbook abuser behavior. What was that about a male loneliness epidemic? Y'all are actually pathetic, and maybe the government should look into disarming you instead of trans people.

I was raised by and around military, cops, and other various authoritarian types. I've lived on and off the streets since becoming an adult a couple decades ago, and I've wrecked a couple Nazis and even an infamous Proud Boy. I've been stabbed in the chest by a tweaker with a screwdriver, who I then proceeded to remove from the bus myself. Afterwards, I clocked in, completed a shift, and then went to get a tetanus shot. I like to put metal rods in my urethra for pleasure. I'm not scared of any of you.

Although, in general, I get a lot more love from folks who understand and appreciate the hazards involved than I do hate from people who clearly need a psychedelic enema, and it means the world to me.

Double thank you to folks who tip well.

Love,

The Psycho Bike Ho

You Suck and Your Music Sucks

Anonymous — Fri, 23 Jan 2026 14:16:00 -0800

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The world has been so dark. It’s the first sunny day in months. So I was excited to go to my local park and soak up some rays from my car, as the wind was slightly chilly. As I was trying to relax, amongst the lawn workers and their machines, you parked beside me.

My windows were down, so were yours. My car was off, you kept yours running. FOR 30 MINUTES. Your car exhaust ruined my time and my health, but you ALSO played music the entire time with your window down. How fucking rude to impose your music and general loud noise on the public who just want a sliver of peace. Why can’t you use headphones, or at the very least, roll up your windows? So inconsiderate.

Lucky for you, I couldn’t be petty enough to pound my stereo back at you. I hope somebody does AND gives you a piece of their mind TO YOUR FACE.

Bad Blood

Anonymous — Tue, 13 Jan 2026 13:00:00 -0800

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To the homeowner who asked me how long it was going to take to get out of her driveway while I was waiting with a girl for the ambulance to arrive. She'd fallen coming down the hill on her skateboard and gashed her knee quite badly. You, more than anyone, crushed my faith in humanity. Rather than offering in any way to help or comfort her, you made it clear our existence was inconveniencing you.

It was depressing enough that the EMTs couldn't help her until they got permission from a family member. After a few attempts, at least they patched her up and drove her to her house to see if they could contact anyone in person. Of course, they can't take her to an ER or urgent care directly because it might bankrupt her family, but they did what they could.

I didn't do much, but at least I helped her gather the contents of her backpack that were scattered across your driveway. I called 911 and waited on the ground for the ambulance with her. It took a disheartening amount of time for them to arrive, but I wanted them to hurry to help her, not to clear your fucking driveway.

Signs of Life

Anonymous — Wed, 07 Jan 2026 15:05:00 -0800

Sound Transit clearly learned nothing from the University St. vs. UW debacle. by Anonymous

Dear Sound Transit,

Congrats on extending Link Light Rail service to Federal Way. It's great that we're adding more transit infrastructure, even though the pace of construction is absolutely glacial.

That said, what dumb fuck committee named the stations and decided on the signage?! Now, when a tourist flies into Sea-Tac, the platform signs give them the options of "Federal Way Downtown" or "Lynwood City Center." Which one of those gets you to Seattle? Probably the one that says DOWNTOWN, right? The station probably exits onto a street called Federal Way next to the Space Needle or Pike Place, RIGHT?!

Leaving aside the fact that it's stupid to name a city after a street, what the fuck happened in the station naming process? Did they take a suggestion from a local Federal Way official who proudly considers that sprawl of big box stores and parking lots a "downtown" because it has a McDonald's and a Red Robin? Go take a walk around that station's neighborhood in Street View and see if you can figure out where the "downtown" is. I couldn't.

Even if whatever moron is in charge insists on keeping the station name "Federal Way Downtown," why couldn't you be bothered to add something on the platform signs that indicates which way Seattle is? Not even an indication of which way is north or south? You can bet that when Seattle hosts World Cup games this year, they'll put up big, obvious signage, so why not get a head start on it and afford the same respect to all tourists and transit riders?

Sound Transit clearly learned nothing from the University St. vs. UW debacle.

Do better.

Thaw the Freeze

Anonymous — Wed, 31 Dec 2025 12:00:00 -0800

Honey, that's not a Seattle problem, that's a you problem. by Anonymous

I've lived in Seattle for about 18 months now, another transplant in a city of transplants. I was worried moving here with zero connections, being warned of the inescapable "Seattle Freeze." Having been here for one full winter and entering another, I've come to a solid conclusion: The Seattle Freeze is bullshit.

In my first few months here, a new friend invited me to a party, so I mingled with folks there. One couple lamented, "Oh, it's so hard to make friends, the Seattle freeze is terrible." I responded, "Aw, that's a bummer. How long have you been here?" To which they responded, "Six years."

Honey, that's not a Seattle problem, that's a you problem.

Tech bros and trust-fund babies love to say that the city is sleepy or boring or that it's so hard to make friends here. They assume fun and excitement will just fall into their lap. It doesn't. It requires effort on your part, too. Be more interesting, do the bare minimum, walk outside, and find that community. Find your people you can rely on during those bitterly cold months, and Seattle will suddenly feel a lot warmer.

Thanks, Nice Nurses!

Anonymous — Wed, 24 Dec 2025 17:30:00 -0800

Do you need to get something off your chest? by Anonymous

Dear Kaiser Urgent Care Nurse,

Never in my 30 years of life have I had a positive experience at a Kaiser. While I am grateful for health insurance, when I took a new job this year, and they told me their insurance was Kaiser, it was enough to make me second-guess taking the position. But alas, a miracle has happened.

In September, I went to urgent care, accompanied by my best friend, for a sharp pain in my side. I truly thought this would be an embarrassing experience where the doctor would tell me I had gas or, worse, I was just hella constipated. Joke’s on me, it was appendicitis, and I was set to have surgery the next day. There was no need for my best friend to stay with me all night while I went from sleeping to waking up for more pain meds, so I sent her home. This left me alone for the next eight to 10 hours.

My first nurse was incredible, laughing at how I call Gabapentin “Gabby P” and being an all-around delight. At some point, my new nurse came in, and I noticed right away he was pleasant but also was not fucking around. If I were in pain, he wanted to know, and he wanted to help.

When I was set to go down to pre-op, I started to have a panic attack. He sat his ass down in a chair in front of me and talked through every anxiety I had around my first ever surgery. I cannot thank this man enough for his kindness, his authenticity, and his care. It’s one thing for a nurse to stand there and say it will all be okay; it’s another for them to literally sit with you and your discomfort. Kaiser is lucky to have him as a nurse, and I only wish I remembered his name, but he kept me up to date on pain meds and swaddled in warm blankets like a Victorian plague child—it’s all a blur.

The next time I was at urgent care a few days later, Kaiser went back to their regularly scheduled disappointing bullshit, and my nurse in shining armor was not there.

With love,

A girl without an appendix

Sugar Daddy

Anonymous — Thu, 18 Dec 2025 12:00:00 -0800

Do you need to get something off your chest? Submit an I, Anonymous and we'll illustrate it! by Anonymous

I didn’t mean to steal, truly. I stopped by a new downtown bagel shop this past weekend, elated to have a Sunday option for coffee, etc., as many coffee shops are closed on weekends in the CBD. The very friendly and helpful young lady at the window took my order—two bagels, a cold brew, and a tub of scallion schmear—then I stood to the side and waited.

She called my name, I grabbed the paper bag—which I assumed only contained the bagels—my coffee, and the rather large tub of the schmear next to the bag, and then I walked home. I kept thinking, "Wow, that’s a really big tub of schmear!" I didn't see any scallions in the schmear, but I wasn’t wearing my glasses, so I figured I just couldn’t see them.

I got home and was unloading my bagels only to find a small container of schmear INSIDE the bag! I put on my glasses and was mortified to discover that the quart-sized plastic tub I brought home was actually a tub of sugar with a hole in the top that was on the counter for customers to use in their coffee! At this point, I was simply too embarrassed to take it back.

I’ve been feeling guilty about this since it happened. I sincerely hope that if that sweet young lady working the window saw me do it, that she laughed it off as the actions of a silly, blind(ish), middle-aged man and not those of a not-so-stealthy condiment thief.

The Seattle Fido Freeze

Anonymous — Wed, 10 Dec 2025 14:43:00 -0800

Do you need to get something off your chest? Submit an I, Anonymous and we'll illustrate it! by Anonymous

To the Gen-x white lady with the older dog: you were walking down the sidewalk, oblivious to the world outside your phone. Our little 23-pound dog with sad-subby energy was waiting patiently to sniff your dog’s butt. Your dog saw our dog. We saw you. When you looked up, startled from your phone, you rudely walked into the parking strip, around a sign, and into the street to avoid saying hello (and letting our dogs say hello).

What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you too socially anxious and screen addicted to acknowledge the existence of your neighbors, and let your dog get some social interaction?

You aren’t the only one in this city with social anxiety and a neglected dog. You know the cure? Stop and say hi.

Trust me: I don’t want to be your friend. But we can peacefully co-exist. Community takes a little effort, though. Wake up!

Testy About Teslas

Anonymous — Wed, 03 Dec 2025 16:08:00 -0800

Want to change the rapidly solidifying stereotype of the Seattle-area Tesla driver? by Anonymous

Dear Seattle-Area Tesla Drivers,

You’ve probably noticed that your stickers aren’t helping. No one cares when you bought your Tesla or how you feel about the company’s CEO. No one is impressed that you’re using electricity instead of gas. That would have made your car special in 2012, but in Seattle in 2025? Not so much.

Those stickers have done little to deter the glares and middle fingers you so richly deserve, and you’re not willing to sell your car because—for some inexplicable reason—Tesla resale values are way down. What could possibly be the reason for all this hatred? What else could you possibly do?

Fortunately, there is something you can do. There is a concrete action you can take that the rest of us would truly, deeply appreciate:

FUCKING PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU’RE FUCKING DOING YOU NARCISSISTIC FUCK

Every day, I see Tesla drivers more focused on their navigation screens than the world around them. Or hypnotized by their goddamn phones. Or just high on the absolute certainty that the world revolves around them. Hey techbros and techmoms! You're operating dangerous heavy machinery! Start fucking acting like it! We are all trying to use the shitty infrastructure we have to the best of our abilities, and you are making everything worse.

One of you idiots backed out of a parking space at what seemed like freeway speed, ramming directly into me and my unmoving car. (Each new electric vehicle bigger and more powerful than the last! What could go wrong?) I guess this particular idiot couldn’t be bothered to (a) look in one of their three mirrors, (b) glance at the 55-inch dashboard display showing their backup camera feed, or (c) look over their goddamn shoulder to see if there was anyone behind them.

Want to change the rapidly solidifying stereotype of the Seattle-area Tesla driver? (Half as situationally aware as Priuses and twice as dangerous!) Then please: learn to drive like someone who isn’t a totally clueless, totally self-absorbed asshole.

Yours in exasperation,

Other Fucking People Who Do In Fact Exist

Short Tempered

Anonymous — Wed, 26 Nov 2025 16:45:00 -0800

Do you need to get something off your chest? Submit an I, Anonymous and we'll illustrate it! by Anonymous

I saw you—male ultrarunner with try-hard tiny shorts and a performance stroller—clip an elderly man who was walking at a reasonable pace on the sidewalk because you couldn't bear the thought of adding five seconds to your Strava route by going around him.

You yelled "Hey!" in an annoyed tone as you did it, which is not the courtesy you think it is. If you aren't willing to slow down for an old man, I doubt you're willing to slow down for your kid, who is at a wobbly and uncoordinated age when they're not being propelled through the neighborhood at a breakneck pace by your conspicuously exposed quads.

Don't let your ideal pace get in the way of being a good person.